College Woes

Anonymous

            When I was in high school, whenever I talked to anyone about college, the thing I heard most often was, “You should be looking forward to college!  It will be one of the best times in your life.”  Every time it was said, my reply was nothing more than a scoff and a roll of the eyes.  I knew it wasn’t true.  I was having the time of my life in high school while everyone else was trying to get out of it and into college as quickly as possible.  No one could wait to make the jump to the big time, but what would that change really be like? 

            The transition from high school to college is generally exciting for people.  Many people don't experience real independence until they reach campus.  All of a sudden, they gain more freedom than they can handle – it almost feels as if someone handed them a blank check.  There would be no more parent-implemented curfews, mowing the lawn, or babysitting younger siblings while you could be out partying.  What could be better than a life with little responsibility and a lot of freedom?  While some imagine that college won’t be hard work, they quickly learn the truth once they dive in: college is difficult, and it has tremendous effects on students.

            Although the transition is usually highly anticipated and long awaited, it wasn’t that way for me.  I had lived away from home for six weeks during a pre-college program in the summer after my junior year of high school.  I had already experienced living away from friends and family, so I knew how it felt to live without curfews, chores, and familiar people.  While everyone else was giddy and excited, I felt nothing – the thrill of the situation didn’t have the same, electrifying effect on me as it did on others.  I knew it wouldn’t be life with fewer responsibilities; those abandoned upon leaving home were picked up in aspects of college life.  Overall, that big transition ended up being a little transition for me, and I was not looking forward to what awaited me: new responsibilities, a little more freedom, and a lot more work.

            The thing that hit me fast and hard like a jab to the chin was the lack of time I had.  When I first arrived on campus, classes weren’t going to start for a week.  In those seven days, information about countless school and extra-curricular activities was presented to us.  Walking around campus was like wandering around in a circus – the only thing missing was a Ferris wheel.  Knowing that I would have a lot of work to do once the term actually started, I decided to participate in only two activities: intramural soccer and concert band.  I figured this was all I would be able to handle.  Classes started, and I found myself balancing my work and activities fairly well.  However, after the first few weeks, the workload steadily increased, and I became increasingly short on time.  Even though I had been working constantly throughout the day, I was always awake doing homework late at night; thus the eight hours of sleep I used to get shrank to four.  My eyes closed slowly during lectures, and I would think to myself, “four hours isn’t enough,” while my head sagged.  As the time dwindled, a voice in my head grew from a whisper to a shout, constantly saying, “You can’t manage all this; drop something!”  That voice annoyed me, because I had always been able to juggle multiple activities before college.  I defied that voice until a time arose when I knew I had to give in.  I dropped the one activity that has been a big part of my life for nine years; sadly, I had to part ways with the concert band.  A large portion of my being had been taken away.  I felt broken, dazed, and incomplete.

            Lack of time would not have been a problem if it hadn’t been coupled with the high-speed teaching of college professors.  In high school, the pace of learning was laid back.  There was enough time for the teachers to spoon-feed the information to you, and you had the luxury of learning things at your own pace.  I feel as if colleges teach like strobe lights: each flicker is a new piece of information, and if you don’t see it the instant it’s there – flicker, flicker, flicker – the light just keeps flashing, and there’s no time to look back.  For those who haven’t faced the rigors of a rapid learning pace, college is especially challenging and stressful.  Coming from a somewhat small school that wasn’t very demanding, I have found this change difficult to handle.  I knew it wouldn’t be easy, because I frequently heard college students say to high school students, “Your grades will not be as high as what you’re used to getting.”  Still, knowing doesn’t make it any easier, and receiving low grades has a tremendous effect on you, especially when you’re not used to it.  When it happened to me, I found that my confidence was affected most.  Upperclassmen told me, along with every other freshman, that many people fail the first physics test.  When I heard this, I figured I should study hard – I didn’t want to start off my college career by digging myself into a pit.  I studied, I took the test, and I received my grade: 40/100 – not the grade I expected.  This score lowered my self-confidence and caused me to second-guess myself more often.  I thought I knew the material, and to find that I didn’t was disturbing.  I felt as if I had become alienated from myself, and I wondered why I was performing at a lower level than before.  For many in this position, the first weeks – or even months – of college are highly stressful and sometimes genuinely traumatic.

            Something else happens to college students that they don’t anticipate: homesickness.  That uncontrollable desire to put immeasurable distance between yourself and family reverses itself and becomes a longing for familiar faces and places.  Most often, this homesickness manifests itself in poor performance, sadness, or apathy.  It happens to almost everyone at some time or another.  When I first arrived on campus, I was homesick, but not to a great extent.  I didn’t mind that I was in new surroundings, but being in the surroundings without even one friend from home bothered me.  Sometimes I wished I were at home just so I could be around my friends from high school.  At times like that, I had no desire to do work; instead, I wanted to spend time on the phone talking to them.  However, knowing I would fall behind if I called, I fought off the cravings for home and made myself do my work.  This is an ongoing cycle for me, just as it is for some other freshmen, and it makes it hard to focus on the things that need to be done.  Upperclassmen say the feeling fades in and out until you go home.  That may be true, but when it’s there, college is difficult to deal with.

            College is full of unpleasant characteristics, but there is an up side to it.  While you feel as if you’re breaking down and you wonder why you can do some things and can’t do others, you figure out who you are and what you can do.  Through all the grueling courses and heaps of work, you realize how much you can do in different circumstances.  Similarly, when time grows short and you choose the activities you want to participate in, you discover which are most important in helping you maintain your sense of identity.  As I’ve gotten used to college, I have discovered how much time I need to divert to different subject areas, how long I can work without a break, how much sleep I actually need, and what my maximum stress level is.  For example, I do well in chemistry, and I like it because I understand it easily.  I understand calculus, but it takes some time before I’m able to remember the formulas.  Physics is most confusing, because I only took a basic course in high school.  So when I do homework, I either do chemistry first (because I enjoy it, and it gives me a positive start) or I do physics (because it’s the subject I need to study most).  Using this knowledge, I can organize my day so I use my time more wisely.

            College is difficult compared to high school.  Imagine cramming all the information you learned from kindergarten through 12^th grade into a space of four years – that’s essentially what college is.  In elementary school, you learn the basics, and in middle and high school, you gain intermediate knowledge that prepares you for what lies beyond 12^th grade, but in college, all of the knowledge is put to use.  It ends up being just like elementary, middle, and high school – the only difference is that college teaches basics that are more complicated, which prepare you for what lies beyond your four years.  It isn’t easy, and all you can do is take it one step at a time.