What was there about SubUrbia that made me audition? As an artist, I am interested in showing reality on stage -- which, to me, means an ordinary suburban life. Without the occasional moments of high emotions, what are our lives like? What do I feel, who am I when I am alone? SubUrbia seemed like a perfect play to explore these issues.

And then there was David (the director). I remember our first meeting when Dramashop had its director interviews for the IAP show. David seemed to be so cool and interesting that after that meeting I was praying I could be in the show.

So I got cast as Tim Mitchum, this drunk, violent, racist young adolescent whose life expectations were destroyed by his awful experiences in the Army in Third World countries -- i. e., paradoxically, I got cast as the most American character in the play despite my noticeable Lithuanian accent. I was assigned a speech instructor (Jennie Israel) with whom I spent a few lovely afternoons educating my tongue to act American. We went line by line and word by word: "really open your mouth when you say had"; "make dot-head sharp and strong with both dot and head emphasized"... I think in the end it worked out because people were able to understand my racist points pretty well.

Getting into an aggressive mood and not highly educated character proved to be not too difficult. Surely, there is something in me or my accent that makes me look like a dangerous loner. Which carries its certain pleasures, too. We could fight on stage, swear, stage-smoke and make a mess with foods we were consuming. The freedom that David gave us in developing our characters was tremendous. I think he was the first director I worked with who trusted his actors so much. And that paid off, apparently, since many people had very positive comments about the production (despite the fact that a number of people in the cast did not have much acting experience).

To me, this freedom allowed to discover Tim's character in myself and appreciate him or sympathize with his situation. Tim's hopes to become a navy flier did not work out -- despite his physical abilities, it quickly turned out that the army did not want him, not educated or wealthy enough. He crushed his little finger and got an honorable discharge, accompanied by a monthly check. So here he is, 21, with no need to work ever and with no future. Where do you go then? Probably deeper and deeper into yourself and alcohol.

I found it difficult, however, to control my body. My character required precise and motivated movements, while as an actor I am mostly devoted to developing rich movement patterns. Cutting down my body expression seemed not fair, but at the same time I realized that if I could achieve the required precision, it would only strengthen my performance. So at least in the first half of the show that was what I did. Later in the play, however, I had to play drunk, which liberated my body and tongue greatly.

For this production, I had a very simple monochromatic "unabomber" outfit, which made me look extremely sketchy, and I also had an-almost-buzz-cut (which I never tried before) plus amazing sunglasses. Audience would see me on stage in the pre-show, smoking and drinking beer, and that alone would set up this feeling that many summarized as "you were so scary".

Overall, this production turned out to be a good experience. Rehearsals were fun and we, actors, had a great time together. Did I fulfill my big interests that I started off with? The production turned out to be more focused on the empty post-teenage life and what to do in life rather than portraying the broad postmodern city landscape that I love... so I am now directing my own show, Ataraxia.