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One of the students spills half a bottle of urea on the laboratory floor and doesn’t confess. But Ike knows who did it . . .
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PROFESSOR: How can I recommend you to world class faculty members here at MIT if you're sloppy?
PHIL: One of the students doesn't want to confess to spilling half a bottle of hazardous chemical on the laboratory floor. I mean, that's a major safety hazard.
IKE: Did you guys know who did it?
IKE: Yeah, I can't tell you. I'm a brother. I'm a homey.
PHIL: This is when we have a witch trial like in The Crucible. And if nobody confesses, we send everybody home, and everyone gets an F for the day.
IKE: [BLEEP] was the one who spilled the urea. Don't tell [INAUDIBLE]. Don't tell.
PHIL: Pretty angry. I would say it was urea, but we can't know for sure. So.
IKE: But he knows himself. He knows himself. [LAUGHS] It's a secret.
PHIL: Recently across the country and, of course, throughout time, there's been waves of serious injuries and deaths as a result of not following best safety practices in the laboratory.
PROFESSOR: The labs have not been cleaned. Chemicals, basically, have been spilled on the scales and on the floor.
PHIL: If somebody steps in that, they track it home. It's on your shoes. It gets on your rug.
PROFESSOR: You come in, and you spill the chemicals. And then, you just disappear. And that is just not right.
PHIL: Next thing you know, you're doing Pilates in a puddle of urea.
HANSOL: He's basically yelled at us. That's as far as he's going to get in terms of yelling at students.
PROFESSOR: I forgot you're freshmen. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to give you a fresh start today. You're going to clean up your act. Today's your new start.